After doing some self-stalking on my Facebook page, I started to reflect on how far I’ve come since last year. People always say time flies and it seems like I never notice how much happens until I pause to look back. One day I’m graduating college and the next, I’m wrapping up my first year of teaching (what??)
In that time, I never felt completely certain of what I was doing or the direction I was heading. All I knew was that I wanted to teach and wanted to get my Masters. It didn’t matter where I ended up as long as I ended up somewhere. It took a lot of trial and error, a lot of interviews, a lot of missteps, a lot of lessons, a lot of self-doubt and struggles with depression to get where I am today and feel satisfied with it. Finding the rhythm of my life took some tinkering, but it happened.
For 25 years, I felt like I needed to do what everyone else was doing – get a high paying job, graduate in 4 years, find a husband to take care of me, be the perfect friend, sister, girlfriend, and daughter. But the growth from this last year alone was tremendous. I grew mentally stronger, emotionally resilient, and socially aware.
I learned that it’s okay to do things at my own pace. Honestly, why did it matter if my degree took 4 years or 6 years? (Spoiler: it took 6). Why do I need to get a job that pays well when I can have a job I actually wake up excited about? Why do I need to be taken care of when I can handle myself? Why try to be perfect when I can just be me?
A year really changes a lot. While I’m still me, I’m now the best version of myself that I have been because I stopped trying to keep up with everyone else and started keeping up with myself. I tuned in to what the universe was telling me I needed, opened my mind to possibility, and let go of expectations. I found the rhythm that works for my life.
Without a doubt, there are days where I feel like I have ZERO idea about what’s going on and mouth WTF to myself 64 times a day, but I’ve accepted those days as part of my rhythm and as a way to keep me from getting ahead of myself.
Really understanding what was and is best for me helped immensely in gaining happiness in my life. I’m just bummed it took 25 years, but either way, I’m glad I found my rhythm.